Using modern technology I hope you don’t mind me emailing you this letter telepathically as my hooves have not yet mastered the ability of holding a pen like these humans do.

I know you are busy at this time of year but I’m only asking for a present because I’m not able to trace my parents. The last I saw of my Mum was when I was 6 months old and she was tricked away from me and put in foal again even though she was only three years old. Brownbread, who are looking after me, have already spent most of the money on essentials so there is hardly anything left for any Christmas presents.

This is the first real Christmas that most of us here have ever had. Last Christmas and all the previous ones that they have ever known were spent in a dark hovel where the sun never shone and we had never ever been let out to eat grass even in the summer. The person who had me then has been to what they call a ‘court’ and been made to pay £4,500. for allowing some of my relatives to drop dead and not looking after me properly. So, Santa I guess, even though I am an adult now, you would describe me as having been a deprived youngster. OK, I suppose I was deprived but now I want to prove to everyone that I can do well. I can work hard and I’m not aggressive. I am a vegetarian and respond with love when given love. In fact, if all the other humans are like those at Brownbread then I would be very pleased to move in with them. I’m a country-lover at heart and would enjoy going out for long walks, perhaps going by the odd pub where we could pause for a munch of lush grass on the village green.

Admittedly my education has not been up to SATS but a young human has SAT on my back so does that count?

So, what do I want, really, really want? Well, I do have enough hay but the odd luxury would be nice, such as apples, cubes, carrots or even stale bread. I suppose I’m fortunate that these Brownbread humans seem to be able to turn unwanted Christmas presents into cash; (are they magicians?). They can also do the same with stuff they call ‘bric-a-brac’ and ‘tack’; ah, tack, that rings a bell because they put some of that on me and it made me feel all important; I felt my career was just starting and an exciting life lay ahead of me. Also the rugs they put on me are a fantastic invention that have several ‘togs’ to keep out the cold. I heard in the yard that these volunteers, as they call themselves, need lots of these to recycle for other ponies. Does ‘recycle’ mean that ponies won’t be used for transport in the future? Sorry Santa, I do canter on a bit, don’t I? Being more specific, all my problems would be solved just by, what these humans call, a ‘wad of notes’. Please just pop it into my manger and, if you want a bit in return, I offer to stand in for Rudolf when he gets tired.

Tony Smith, Brownbread Horse Rescue, registered charity 1029341, Ashburnham, Battle; 01424 892381